Dear five year old Stu,
Don't sit in that hanging vegetable scale at the grocery store next week. It ends badly. Here's why: See, the maximum weight for those scales is 10 lbs; and you weigh five times that. In due course, multiplication tables will explain this rare phenomena, but for now, just note that people generally don't sit in elevated produce scales, adolescent employees don't want to clean up the broken aluminum parts and your mom just assume not have to claim you as hers when you're on the floor surrounded by metal, fruit and a puddle of tears.
Fondly,
You, 22 years from now.
ps. Your mom is privy to your dinner-time stunt of excusing yourself, going the bathroom with your glass of milk and dumping it in the toilet, and then sitting back down at the table saying you drank your milk in the bathroom. Flushing may help hide evidence. At least come back with a milk mustache. But generally, your parents get it. That's why they fill your milk glass back up when you return. Also, sick overalls.
pps.
Ok.
Not ok.
